Thursday, October 28, 2010

Tomorrow. The BETA.

So yeah, I've been bummed.  Totally bummed.  I should not have POAS.

The BETA is tomorrow. So we'll find out for sure tomorrow.

I'm such a wreck of emotions right now.  I'll blame SOME of that on the hormones and the fact that mine are all effed up right now.  But seriously, a negative pregnancy test when you really really really want a positive one is a downer.  I've never had a negative pregnancy test in all the 8000 that I've taken over the years (and I'm not even exaggerating....)

Tracy (the IM-Intended Mother) has been awesome this past week.  Asking me how I'm feeling almost daily and just being totally positive about things.  I want so bad to wish that she knows something I don't.  Like when I had my estrogen and progesterone levels drawn on Monday, maybe they took an HcG level and it was high and they called Tracy and told her but decided to keep it from me.  Yeah, I think like that.  I want that to be reality.

I had a VERY vivid dream last night that I had 2 nice lines on a test. Like, so much that I woke up and smiled...and then realized I hadn't had those 2 lines.  Maybe the dream means something?  Who knows....

I took another test tonight (I know, I know) and it was the Equate (Wal-Mart) brand.  The other tests I used were either Internet cheapies or dollar store.  Well, I got a very very very very very faint (like barely visible) line.  A line is a line....right?  Or maybe I just thought I saw a line?  Ug.

So, tomorrow morning at 7:00 am I will have the most important blood draw of the many many many that I've had over the course of the last 6 months. 

Please pray, do a pregnancy dance-whatever.  Anything to help.

Thank you.

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