Friday, December 30, 2011

I'm weird.

I had a thought.  I'm weird.  Not in a creepy weird way...in a "man, she's just kinda weird" weird way.  Maybe weird isn't the best adjective.  Odd?  Strange?  Goofy?

Whatever.  "Not normal" is probably the right phrase.

I don't consider any of this a bad thing. It's me.
  • My favorite food in all the land is pickled brussel sprouts.  This is not because I'm pregnant.  It's because pickled brussel sprouts are awesome.  All the time.
  • I think the scariest movie that will ever exist (ever) is Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I can’t even type the word Oompa without freaking out.
  • My dream car was always a Fiero. And it still might be.
  • I prefer to write with colored pens (not the "standard" black or blue).
  • Sometimes I think my life could be documented by Lifetime. And people might actually watch it.
  • When I used to show horses during my summers, I lived off of Mountain Dew, brown sugar cinnamon Pop-Tarts and Cheetos.
  • I still have Halloween decorations hanging up in my office.
  • I can’t name all my cousins. (I have lots)
  • I had a bad night in college that involved Vodka and Sunny Delight. I haven’t been able to touch Sunny D since.
  • I people watch ALL the time.
  • I can’t stand the sound of someone clipping their fingernails.
  • I hate having voice mails.
  • I have a hard time saying no to people. Ask me why I work in sales??
  • I hate florescent lighting.
  • I have 5 pairs of glasses that I interchange on a semi-regular basis.
  • I create spreadsheets for everything.
  • I like to dip potato chips in cottage cheese (and along these same lines, I put cottage cheese on my baked potatoes).  Again, not a pregnancy thing, been doing it for years.
  • I can't stand having "unread" e-mails in my inbox.
Not sure if it's a good thing I've laid this out out for the world to see, but hey.  It's all me.  Weird, odd or whatever you want to call it.

And now I have a craving for Pop-Tarts...

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry Christmas

I was thinking about doing some really sappy post about the Holiday's and how much I love or hate them (depending on the minute).

But I'm not gonna.

(I really do love them most minutes)

I just want to wish you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS from my family to yours.  May your days be MERRY and BRIGHT!!




~Jesse, Jesse, Elliot, Emerson, London and T & H's little monkey

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

My cravings are legit (ultrasound results)!

Last night I had an amazingly disturbing dream about my forthcoming ultrasound.  I had to drop trou in front of 8 different doctors; and instead of anything "normal" showing up on the ultrasound screen, all we saw were dancing monkeys.

Disturbing.


So I had the ultrasound today.  And boy was I nervous.  Like heart beating fast, nearly shaking kind of nervous.


They put "the wand" where it needed to go.  First, he checked my ovaries (all good), then checked the uterus. 

And it was the most amazing site.

We saw one beautiful little bean!!!

And this little bean has a heartbeat!!  128 bpm to be exact.

Here's the little beauty (you'll hear the heartbeat around the 40 second mark):
video

When the doctor first measured it, he got 6 weeks, 5 days (which is fine), but then he measured it again after this video and got it a true 7 weeks (which is what I am today).  Either way, all is good.

Happy?  I am.

Relieved?  You bet.

Hungry?  Yes.

And to go back to the title of this post--yup, I've had a craving.  Just one.  But a very specific one.  Maraschino cherries.

Overall, it's been one of the most satisfying mornings thus far on this journey.  The sound of a 7 week old heartbeat is truly the most amazing sound in the world.  I feel an odd sense of calm right now.  In a good way.  A really good way.

My name is Jesse and I am 7 weeks pregnant with an amazing miracle.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

4 days until the ultrasound...

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious about next week's ultrasound.

I don't know why.

I'm pregnant, right?

And I'm feeling more pregnant as the days go on.  No true morning sickness yet, but I do have that yuk feeling throughout the day.  There are certain foods I simply think about and it makes my stomach flip (so VERY unlike me).

I had pizza tonight and nearly hurled when I looked at an additional piece.  VERY VERY unlike me.

I'm anxious because I just want everything to be okay.  I want to see one (more would be fine, but one would be great) little bean in there with a heartbeat.  Then, I'll feel MUCH better.

So we're looking at really less than 4 days.  The ultrasound is on Tuesday morning.  My plan is to take a video of it so Tomas and Honza can have a true look as to what their child(ren) look like (in the "this kind of looks like just a blob of something" sense).

Anxious, yet very excited.

Monday, December 12, 2011

I like the color pink...most days...

Pink is my favorite color.

Except when it's put in front of the word "eye" and wreaking havoc on my house.

Yup, it happened.  First Elliot, then London, now Emerson and I (daddy's immune system is rockstar.  He NEVER gets sick.  Ever.)

Punk.

Since last weekend (not like 2 days ago, like over 9 days ago) my house has been filled with lots of snot, whining, crying, and misery. 

And it just wasn't me doing that all!

Elliot is finally back to school today--we had to call him in every day last week!  Poor kid.  Hope he remembered how to write his name.

London seems a bit better.  Her eyes were only glued shut 2 days last week. 

Emerson is worse.  If I didn't know better, I'd say she was the spawn of Satan.  I know that's awful of me to say, but the whites of her eyes....aren't.  They're nearly red.  Poor thing.  She acts okay-no other symptoms--just red, gobby eyes.  I'm doing lots o'research on what to do.  It's 50/50 on whether antibiotics will help Emmy or not.  And Lord knows there's no way I could ever get an eye drop in her eye.  So, I will just let it run it's course for a couple more days and see what happens. 

Mommy is eh.  Sore throat, runny nose and cough for about a week.  I couldn't open my one eye this morning.  So sexy.  I'm stuck because of being pregnant (gosh, I love saying that).  Pregnant ladies are limited in what they can take-medicine wise.  So I haven't taken anything.  Gonna down some extra Vitamin C tonight and pray for a miracle.  Might have been a good idea to take stock in the Kleenex Corp. a couple weeks ago.  Lord knows I probably just sent their CEO to the Caribbean.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Czech Boys

I'd like to take you back to the day I was "approved" with Circle Surrogacy.  The day I received an e-mail from Circle with the subject line "A Profile to View!"

I remember exactly where I was. 

I remember seeing the e-mail and my heart starting to beat faster.

I remember opening the first photo that was attached and I remember falling in love.  (in a "I want to be their surrogate" kind of way)


Seriously, how could you not like these guys?  I mean, aren't they the cutest ever?

It makes me sad they're so far away.  You see, "my guys" (that's what I refer to them as with everyone I talk to) live in Prague.  Yes, the Czech Republic. 

They're the type of guys that I would invite over for a beer (*ahem* if I weren't pregnant) and want to hang out with for hours.  I'd want to go to museums with them and hit up a movie.  They've treated me and my family with nothing but kindness and respect.  They're pretty awesome. 

And they're gonna be daddies!

Ah...what joy that brings to my heart.

Tomas and Honza--you guys are amazing and I am so lucky that you "picked" me!  Thank you for everything on this journey so far--for your friendship, your organization (T) and your care for my well being.  I am so honored and proud to be your surrogate and will do everything I can to care and nurture the little bean(s) in my belly!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Final Beta

So I had my last beta today.

You'd think since it was a good strong number last week Friday that I would have had a decent weekend with some sighs of relief.

Notsomuch.

Sure, I felt good about the number, but there is always this "what if".  And, the last time I had a chemical pregnancy my 2nd beta was fine, it was the 3rd beta where we saw the numbers drop.

So yeah, I've been antsy since Friday.

Blood was drawn bright and early this morning.  Had a client meeting most of the morning and I so wanted to keep checking my phone during the meeting, but I figured that would look kind of crappy in front of a new client.  I stayed strong and didn't look like an ass. 

The minute I walked out of my meeting the phone rang and I saw it was a Connecticut number.

Oh crap.  Do I answer it?  Do I let it go to voicemail?  Do I want to know?

AACK!

I answered it and my angel nurse Sharron said once again "everything is great".

Beta today is 1,355.


NOW I will put my mind at ease.....


....until the ultrasound.  (December 20)

Holy crap! I'm legitimately preggo!

YAY!!!! 


Oh, and PS--I want to give out a congrats to Mike and Tony.  They're beautiful baby girl was born just a couple days ago via a surrogate.  I can't comment on your blog, guys, but please know that I am so happy for you!! She is perfect and I want to sqeeze her cheeks!!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Beta Number 2

Let me start by saying the last 3 days have been, uh, crazy.

I've been anxious about the beta today.  Really anxious.

I did whatever possible to keep my mind off of it.  But it was hard.

So I just continued peeing on my little sticks and that made me feel better...cause my lines were getting DARKER!  (a good sign, right??)

And I just got the call that I had been both waiting for and dreading.  CFA.  With my 2nd beta.

Nurse Sharron started off the conversation a little subdued and my heart sank.  Then the words "everything is wonderful" came out of her mouth and my heart skipped a beat. 

My beta is 232.




AAACKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME news.  I can't tell you how excited I am.  Tomas and Honza (those are "my guys"....your first looky at their real names!!) are going to be fathers!!  That, my friends, makes me happy beyond words.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Beta Update

I think I owe you all an update.  My apologies for not doing this sooner.

So I had my first beta test (blood test) yesterday at 7:30 am.

The results came at 9:30 am.

My beta is 60.

I was going into yesterday with a really big number in my head, so this number isn’t good to me.

But I’m still pregnant. At least yesterday morning I was.

The people that I’ve told have been uber supportive of this number. It’s a solid number for a singleton (one baby). The real test will be to see if it doubles. My repeat beta is on Friday.

I know I sound really negative about this all and I know I shouldn’t. I should be happy with this number. I just can’t help but think it’s another chemical. There is NOTHING I want more than for it to NOT be one. Lord knows I want this pregnancy to happen more than anything. Anything.

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I cried. I kept playing every scenario in my head. I prayed. I prayed a lot.


This morning I woke up a little better. Here’s why—A)I could very well be pregnant and there’s one little bean making his/her home in my belly. If that is the case, you darn well better know that I am and will continue to make that the best home possible for the next 9 months. B) If it is a chemical, I know that beyond all that I am that I’ve done everything possible that I could to retain a pregnancy.

So, I will move on the next couple days with the mindset that I do have a child setting up shop in my uterus. And I will continue to pray a lot.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

An update--you probably want to check this out.



That's right, baby! 

Pardon me while I go run around my living room for a moment....


Okay, I'm back.  No, I didn't run.  I have to take it easy.  So I just walked really fast waiving my arms around.  Picture that.

I am elated!

Over the moon! 

So excited! 

So happy!

I actually got a positive test yesterday (5dp5dt).  Well, I actually got 4 positive tests yesterday.  But, the digital tests are a little more "concrete" in my mind.

Our first beta (blood test) isn't until Tuesday, so I'm still going to be a little cautious, especially since I've gotten one of these before and it was a chemical pregnancy.  But I'm going to celebrate for a little bit right now because of that one little word that popped up on the hpt today.

Congrats to my IF's, T & H.  They deserve this and I can't be more happier for them!

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

3dp5dt

What that little "lingo" post title means is that I am currently 3 days past (3dp) a 5 day transfer (5dt).

And I've got nuthin'.

Well, I did take a test today and it was bfn (big fat negative), which is totally expected. It's still extremely early to get a positive test.  In fact, even day 4-5 might be too early as well.  But I'll keep trying!!

I have been a little crampy here and there--could I attribute that to implantation?  Sure.  Maybe the progesterone and/or estrogen I'm on?  Sure.  So, I'm not sure how meaningful the cramps are.

I'm pretty tired today, too.  Again, not sure if that's because of the meds, because I didn't sleep well (which I did, though) or because I truly am starting to experience pregnancy symptoms.

Oh, and I had a short fuse today once.  Maybe twice.
I've got a busy few days ahead of me to celebrate Thanksgiving, but I will try to take it easy and will for sure be squeezing in a test here and there.

Please continue to pray and send us lots of "sticky" vibes!!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!  I am so very thankful for so many things, including you.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

NYC/CT...The City and The Transfer

I'm going to go out of order a bit-bear with me.

Today (Sunday) we had our transfer.  It was at 7:45 this morning, so getting up and ready is kind of a blur--but we made it and Dr. Doyle did his thing.  It went great and we saw the two beautiful little embies take their place!

And now we wait.

And I'm not really a patient person.

It's nearly lunch time and Jesse and I have been curled up in bed just hanging out "bed-resting".  It's quite relaxing--and I'm thinking a nap is in order in a little bit.

Ahhhhh....

So yes, I'm a POAS (pee on a stick) addict and I will be doing that.  And ya'll will know when I do, I promise. 

PLEASE pray for me, T and H that these little embies (or one little embie) stick!!  I want nothing more than to make them amazing parents. 



So let's back up now to Friday--it was a truly amazing day.  We met up with T & H at noon in Grand Central Station and head out to the big city right away.  Knowing that they had to catch a plane that night to go home, we knew we had to make the best of the couple ours we had with them.

We first hit up the Empire State building:



I think T & H have some pictures of me with at least one of them--I don't have any.  Argh.

After Empire State, we braved the Subway and headed to Chinatown for some lunch.  Yum-O.

Then, we Subway'd it to Central Park and that's where we parted ways.  Was I sad?  Yes, very much so.  I like them.  A lot.   Remember that "new boyfriend butterflies" post I did a few days ago?  Yeah, it's still like that--leaving that person or persons you've grown to become so fond of and enjoy so much.  It's hard.

After we said our goodbye's, Jesse and I walked 1900 miles to meet up with my cousin (Joe) and his girlfriend (Caryn) for dinner.  I'm not kidding.  1900 miles.

Okay, it was about 40 blocks, but still....

Dinner was great--my family is awesome--we had a great time!

Then, we hit up Dylan's Candy Bar and might have purchased a leetle bit of candy.

Or a lot a bit.

We knew we HAD to check out Time Square at night, so that was our last stop:
Pardon my weird angle there--it was one of those "screw asking anyone to take our pic for us, I can do it myself" type situations...

Yesterday (Saturday), Jesse and I went back to the city to do some more exploring.  And we pulled out our tourist card and did the bus tour.  It was quite informative, very cold on the upper deck, but still pretty neat. 

We did brave Chinatown again.  But not the tourist Chinatown.  The "real" Chinatown.  Like, fish markets everywhere and ducks hanging in restaurant windows.  I'm a big fan of  steamed dumplings, so I went into a very non-English speaking restaurant and did my best to point to what I wanted.  And those dumplings were divine!!  And only $1.75. 

We ended our evening near Rockefeller Center and HAD to hit up Nintendo World.  Santa might have did some shopping there for the kidlets.

And now we're back to the hotel bed.  Just hanging out.  Not moving.  And praying these little embies take up habitation.
I leave you with one more photo.  One that couldn't be more appropriate.  Sure, it's hanging on the side of Macy's department store, but I like to think it was hanging there just for this journey:
 

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Wanna "meet" my IF's??

I will hook you all up with the details of yesterday (a truly awesome day), but I wanted to first do a little introduction for you.

Let me step back one second--since the beginning of this journey, I've wanted to keep some privacy available for my IF's.  They've always been supportive of the blog, but I never really came out and asked to what extent I can include info about them.  I'm the blogger, but this journey is also about them.  You know them as T & H and I think I will leave their names still private, at least for now (baby steps) but yesterday, they gave me the permission that I can use their photo's on my blog!!

Seriously, this was awesome news to me--because I want to share them.  They are the most amazing couple and when I think about them, my heart swells.  Oh, and they're super cute too.

Without further adieu, here is your first look at my very cool, very sweet and oh so awesome Intended Fathers:


Yes, they are that cute in person too. 

Friday, November 18, 2011

Drive By Update

Quick update to all my blog followers...

We made it to NYC and settled into our hotel in CT.  CFA is pretty sure the transfer will be on Sunday (which is great news!!)--so hubby and I are going to meet up with T & H today for a bit before they have to catch their flight back tonight.  Not sure if we'll find anything to do in NYC, but I'm sure we'll be fine.

Har har har

I'm SO SO SO excited to see them!!

After the catch their flight, we have dinner plans with my awesome cousin (Joe) and his girlfriend, which I'm also very much looking forward to.

Will update again later! (with lots of pics, I'm sure)

XO

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Ted Allen thinks I'm brilliant.

No really, he does:


Brialliant and a word nerd.  I love him.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Ready....Set...Here We Go!!!

Travel arrangements have been made--we are headed out on Thursday afternoon!!  Child care is taken care of, flights have been booked, rental car is ready, hotel is good to go--this is it!!!

The egg retrieval was this morning--and little miss egg donor is a ROCKSTAR--26 little eggies!!  I'm excited to see how many make it to get fertilized and then how many make it after that.  

Ack!!

I'm still running under the assumption that we'll make it to a 5-day transfer, so we've got plans to spend Friday with the guys in the big city!  Yay!!!

I'm sure you're all dying to know how my PIO injections are going, right?  Well, they're great!! (minus one small emergency call to Jeni on what needles I needed to use--which I figured out).  I took one shot last night and had to switch to a morning shot this morning because I have to take a new med tonight and, let's just say...it's not an injection...nor do I take it orally.

'nuf said.

So as of tonight, I will be on the following as far as my daily meds:

PIO Injection
Estrace
Baby Aspirin
Prometruim
Predisone
Doxycycline
Vitamin

Yikes!

But totally worth it!!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Hey Lupron---buh bye!!

You heard right, folks.  Tonight I will take my last Lupron shot.  Tomorrow, I start the "big guy"--Progesterone In Oil.

You wanna know why?  Do ya?  Do ya?

Because the egg retrieval is on Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy bologna! 

That means that Jesse and I will head out on Thursday (travel times yet to be determined) with the transfer happening on either Friday or Sunday (likely Sunday).

And wanna know what else is cool?   I'll get to see my guys!!!!!

Yay!!!!

I about crapped my pants when I saw the e-mail from CFA today letting me know about the retrieval.  I suppose I was expecting something at some point, but not today.  Totally took me off guard--but in a good way.  A great way!

Thinking about a little "goodbye" ceremony for Mr Lupron tonight...


Friday, November 11, 2011

"New Boyfriend" Butterflies

No, I don't have a new boyfriend.  My husband is working out just fine for me.

Most days.

But that feeling--that feeling of meeting a new guy (or girl) for the first time and having those fun, insanely odd feelings in the pit of your stomach--that's what I felt yesterday when I got an e-mail from "T" that they were in the US.

The feeling was immediate.  And so cool.

I'm always excited to hear from them.  But to hear that they're here--here to fertilize the eggs that will become embryo's that will be transferred into me.  Well, it makes me happy, excited, nervous--the same feeling I used to get in high school when I met a boy for the first time.  Kind of an odd comparison, but that's the best way I can describe it.

Sadly, depending on when our transfer actually happens, I may not even get to see my guys, though.  Do I want them there for the transfer?  Absolutely.  But, the fact that they live 4500 miles away and have professional schedules to adhere to might not allow that. 

Because of that, I need you all to start willing our ED to hurry up and produce some fantastic eggies!! Like Tuesday or Wednesday would be really good.  Then, I'll still get to see T & H for a little bit when we get to NYC.

Holy crap.  There are those dang butterflies again!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Did someone say "next week"??

First of all, MASSIVELY HUGE congrats need to be given to my "ling-lost" BFF, Jeni.  She gave birth to her surro twins this past weekend!!  And honestly, when I think about these babies coming into the world, I cry.  I am so overjoyed for Jeni and her IF's (Farid and George).  Jeni has been such a support for me and such an awesome friend-there's no words to tell her how excited I am for her!  Jeni, you are a rockstar.  The BOMB DIGGITY.  I can't tell you how happy I am that we "met" and how happy I am for you and this journey you were on. 

Here is the birth story of Jeni's surro twins.

Again, congrats girl!!

As for me--well, I'm ready for this transfer to happen!!  My guys will be flying to the States on Friday!! Like, as in THIS Friday!!  AACK!  They need to be ready to make their "contribution", whenever that may be.

And here's where I start biting my acrylic nails.
The egg retrieval will be next week!

Deep breath.

I will have to travel for 5 days.  And I only get a 4-day notice on my travel dates.

More deep breaths.

I am a planner.  A huge planner.  I put everything on my calendar. Everything.  Sometimes, I even schedule grocery shopping.

For me to not know these travel dates--it's making me a little insane. Yes, I knew this going into it and I'm doing as much as a I can to keep myself busy and as organized as possible so that when I get "the call", I will be ready to go. But still.  It's hard.  Remember how psycho I got when I had the med-screening and had to leave for like 24 hours? Yeah, this is a 5 day trip.

And there's a possibility that 5 days MAY go into Thanksgiving.

Which, on one hand, would suck.  But on the other hand, I would be in NYC on Thanksgiving day and that might rock just a bit.

Anyway, I would like to say again--the egg retrieval will be NEXT WEEK.

Did you hear me??? NEXT WEEK!!!
AAAACKKK!!!!!!!!
Deep breaths.

I have been matched with the most awesome guys since April 19th. We've waiting 7 months.  And I now can say the words "NEXT WEEK". 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

This post brought to you by Fiat.

Before I get into the nitty gritty of my awesome weekend, I do have to give a HUGE shout out to my "ling lost" and "surro sister", Jeni.  Her water broke last night and she's in labor right now with the twins!!  GOOD LUCK to you, Jeni!!  SO EXCITED for you and the guys!

This weekend is the weekend of my reschedule with Cole (originally had it booked for the weekend of Nov 18th, but I've got something else going that weekend--A TRANSFER, baby!!).  Cole and I have known each other for a good 10 years and try to get together at least once a year (she lives in KY).  This year, we decided to ditch the hubbies and kids and met up in Indianapolis--just us.

I rented a car and channeled my inner J Lo:
Seriously.  That is not a matchbox car you're looking at.  I've been driving that puppy all weekend.  Slightly scary, not meant to be a family car at all, but still kinda fun in a "crap I hope it doesn't get too windy" kind of way.

Cole and I are really picky when it comes to alcoholic beverages:
Nothing better than a Cosmo in a box.

We had a wonderful time!   Much needed girl time--lots of shopping, chatting, eating.  And thank you to the Candlewood Suites--a DVD player in the room.  Gave us a chance to watch all 3 Twilight movies together!

Edward. 

It was an awesome weekend and I'm so sad it's coming to an end.

Love you, Cole!!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Ye Ole Lining of Me Uterus

I had another monitoring appointment today--all is looking just DANDY!!

My lining was 10mm with a triple stripe!

Now, I've heard this go both ways.  Some may consider that really good (which my RE does) and some may consider that too "cushy" at this point.

I'm going with Dr. Doyle on this one--they want anything over 7mm at this point in the process, so I'd say I'm doing well.

They said it will go up a little more between now and transfer, but nothing to be concerned about.  Looks like I will be good and ready to accept those beautiful little embies!!

Ack! I cannot believe I can say we're like 2 weeks away!  Okay, maybe just a smidge more than that, but AACK!! 

The guys are actually flying out on the 11th!  That's NEXT WEEK!!  They have to do some more blood work and then give up their "donation" as soon as those eggs are retrieved.  Then, hubster and I will fly out on day 2--so we'll be ready for a 3 day transfer, but will cross our fingers for a 5.

(and for those of you that don't quite understand that, I'll explain in a later post)

Anyway, we (me and my uterus) are ready!! BRING IT!

Sorry for the overuse of exclamation points in this post. 

!!!!!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Takin' the limo...to get free candy.

I do love Halloween. 

Sure, I like seeing my kids all dressed up in cute costumes and I enjoy the time spent walking down the sidewalk with my husband while they go door to door begging for candy. 

But that's not why I love it.

I love it because I have, at my disposal, three huge bags full of candy to choose from.  Three.

I was digging through Elliot's bag tonight (he seems to always get the good stuff-I taught him well) and he said "mom, that's my candy!".  And I, the perfect and caring mom I am, replied "kid, I birthed you.  I'm entitled to some of your chocolaty treats".

And somehow he understood what I was saying and handed over the bag willingly.

We actually kind of cheated this year.  We went Trick-or-Treating 2 days.  First, we went in my mother-in-law's neighborhood.  That was a bust.  Not sure why.  Mommy The kids didn't really get an opportunity to get a whole lot of candy.  So, the next day (Halloween) we hit up our own town.

In style:


There's nothing better than pulling up to someone's house in a stretch limousine asking for candy.  Yeah, we got some looks.

But mommy the kids scored.

I didn't go in costume this year, but my husband did.  He went as an eharmony reject:


Saturday, October 29, 2011

When Life Gives you Pumpkins....

Perhaps you make pumpkin pie?
Maybe you roast some pumpkin seeds?
I can do neither.





My guess to the culprit is a chipmunk or a squirrel.  Or, those little crappers teamed up on me.

I Googled this little debacle I'm in and got some unique ideas to stop the attacks.  Before I run out and get peppermint oil and Armor All, I thought I'd ask you--do you have any solutions?  Most creative wins a prize.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

"The ship is too big. If I walk, the movie will be over."

It's 8:50 PM and I've been working for the past hour (and will be working for quite a bit longer).

This has become a normal thing of late.  No, I'm not happy about it, but I love my job and love my clients.  If I have to work 13 hour days to keep them happy and to get something done, so be it.  This is my typical life in the 4th quarter.

Anyway, I always like to have background noise--whether its Pandora, my iTunes on shuffle or the TV in the background.  Tonight, I opted for a movie.

Spaceballs

Call me a dork, but I think this movie is hizzle-arious.
I've seen it probably 128 times in my lifetime; I laugh every time.

"What's the matter Colonel Sanders?......Chicken?"


Bwhahahahaha

Okay...back to work.

Monday, October 24, 2011

A Story of Birth--from a fellow surro!

I wanted to share a fellow surrogate's birth story--it's truly a lovely one.

The Birth of Baby L

Krystal, congrats to you and your IP's!! So happy for you!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Lupron, oh Lupron....

How I really don't love thee.  At all.

I've been injecting 10 units of Lupron into my belly since October 8th.  A measly 11 days.  Yet, the headaches I have make it feel like I've injected an entire gallon 3 times a day.  Okay, that's gross, sorry.  But the deal is I have had a pretty-much constant headache in the front of my forehead for 10 days straight.  Not fun.

Here's the good news:  I had my first monitoring appointment today!  They wanted to make sure my ovaries were suppressed.  Well, they were!  So, as of today I start Estrogen pills (Estrace) and I get to decrease my Lupron to 5 Units!! 

Please help me and pray to the Lupron Gods that my headaches go away due to this little med change.  I thank you.

The next step is to stay on this little salad of medications until the egg retrival! 

I think I can safely say we're about a month away from transfer! 

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Some prayer requests

If you are the praying kind, I ask for you to add 2 people to your prayer list, please.

My surro friend, Tiffany has had a pretty rough year.  She did have a successful transfer this summer, which was great--ended up preggo with one little bean.  Shortly after she found out she was pregnant, she had to put down her family pet.  Shortly after that, her mom passed away.  Just yesterday, she was to have surgery on what she (and the docs thought) was a hernia.  Turns out she had placenta accreta (I think?) and ended up having an emergency hysterectomy and lost the baby in the process (16 weeks).  This is so tragic--for Tiffany, for her family and for her IP's.  Please pray for them all.

Danielle is another surro friend--she is pregnant with twins right now for a couple in Italy!  They recently found out that "Baby B" has 2 holes in his heart.  It sounds like it's something that can be surgically fixed or repaired, but not until the baby is born.  And, he may have some pretty significant delays in life because of this.  Please pray for Danielle, the babies and her Intended Parents.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Good Things

My life is surrounded by “good things”. Call me Ms. Stewart. 


The Lupron shots are going fine. I knew they would be—they’re easy peasy. Can’t even feel them. However—the Lupron is giving me MEGA headaches. Like migraine-esque.   Not cool, Lupron. Though this is not a "good thing", the fact that I'm taking Lupron is.  So, we'll roll with it.  I scheduled my first appt with my local RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist)—Dr. Doyle’s office basically sent them the order and they’ll just perform the ultrasound and lab work and send it back to CFA so we know where I’m at (make sure my ovaries are suppressed, for those that REALLY want to know).  I will only have 2 monitoring appointments locally--this one and another in the beginning of November.  Then, it's transfer time, baby!

I rescheduled my trip with Cole!! Yay!! We found a weekend that worked and there’s no backing out now-the non-refundable hotel is paid for. (And Jeni, we’ll so have to plan Denver for the next time fo shizzle) Cannot.Wait.

Brew-Crew, Pack & Badgers. It’s a good time to be a Wisconsinite! The Brewers are on their way to playing in the World Series (not quite yet, but getting there!!).  Beast Mode!   The Green Bay Packers are now 5-0 and the Badgers are kicking some University arse.  When our teams are winning, everyone in Wisconsin seems to be in a good mood.  So, keep it up, guys!!

Yours in good things,
Martha






Thursday, October 6, 2011

Meds have arrived!!

If you're a surrogate, you likely have a very similar photo somewhere in your library.  It's like a rite of passage in a way.

Looky what I got today!!!!

Yes, the average person may not get giddy or excited about seeing package after package of needles and pills--but this just brings it all home for me.  It's real.  We're doing this.  I'm gonna get pregnant for some great guys and am so.freaking.excited.

Mr Lupron, I will see you on Saturday.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

We have a timeline!!

I got the e-mail today I have been waiting for since April...the timeline.  The calendar.  The "Protocol for Fresh Embryo Transfer".

Alright people, can I get a "woo" and a "hoo" please??

WOO HOO!!

It is, however, bittersweet.

You see, months ago (when the transfer was still targeted to be in October), I had made plans with my best friend (Cole) to meet up in Indianapolis for a long weekend--the weekend of November 18th.  It was perfect.  We could see each other (which we haven't in a year) and go see Twilight in its opening weekend together.  Looking forward to it was an understatement.  I was ecstatic.

And now I have to cancel on her.  And I feel terrible about it.

Cole, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry.  I know you understand, but please know how terrible I feel about having to reschedule.  I know you'll be cool with it because that's how best friends are and I thank you for that.  XO

(and we're already discussing "make-up" dates, so I WILL get to see her this year.  We'll just have to find other trouble to get into than hitting up a movie theatre.  Hmmm...a fun city with my best girl...what CAN we do???)

Back to the timeline:  Like I said before, I've never been so excited to shoot myself with a needle--and I get to start Lupron injections on Saturday!  That's when it all starts to become so real.  Thankfully, I know how Lupron affects me-and I'm happy to say I do pretty well with it.  I remember some headaches here and there, but nothing too wacky.  I'm ready! 

The donor’s egg retrieval is anticipated to be between November 14th and November 18th.  The embryo transfer will occur 3-5 days after the retrieval.

I will likely get those ++ pregnancy tests right around Thanksgiving!  (and I may have just bought 24 tests online....*blush*)

This is the start of something very amazing and wonderful and I couldn't be more excited!!  And if I'm this excited being the surrogate, I can't imagine how excited T & H are!

Let's DO THIS!!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Teeeeeny Little Surro Update

Teensy little update--I will, however, have additional information next week.

Looks like I can start prepping myself to begin injections (Lupron) next week Friday (the 7th)!

Never have I been so excited to shoot myself with a needle!

Then, my friends, the egg retrieval will be sometime during the week of November 7th--and the transfer shortly thereafter!

I love updates, don't you??

Happy weekend, all!!  I'm going Trailer Livin' with the fam (minus limo-hubby).  I might even do a celebratory "almost starting Lupron" tequila shot!

Or maybe two shots.






Or four.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Need to smile?


This made me smile when I saw it.  Hope it did the same for you.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

It's MY house.

I've been debating if I want to write about this.

But this blog is about me, my life, what makes me happy and what makes me sad.  And what really bugs me.

And I promise I won't start another sentence with the word "but".

My mom bought her house when she was in her early 20's.  It's a cool house.  It might be full of asbestos and lead paint, but it's still cool.  I grew up in that house (when I wasn't living with my dad on the farm).

Growing up, the house was a duplex (upper/lower).  We lived on the bottom and mom rented out the 2nd floor.  I met some great people because of that.  Not that I keep in touch with any of them anymore, but hey, they were great when I was there.

When I got to high school, mom decided to convert the house to a one-family.

Looking back, this probably wasn't the best idea. 

It was great for me though-I had the entire 2nd floor to myself!  I may have had a party or two up there.   I faintly remember putting a crapload of ice in the claw-foot bathtub to use as a "cooler" for some beverages my friends and I weren't old enough to drink.  Okay, not faintly.  I remember the crap out of that.  I was cool back then.

I remember hanging out with friends, drinking Mad Dog 20/20 out of a straw.

Don't do it.

Anyway, I got older, went to college, moved out, got married and started a family.  Then, it was only my mom and step-dad in the 4-bedroom house.

Then my mom had a stroke.

She never went back to the house.

I have to give my step-dad a little credit.  He did what he could with what he had.  Okay, maybe he didn't really do a good job of it.  Money management is not his thing.

He failed.  Foreclosed.  The house is being auctioned off on November 1st.

I am struggling with this BIG TIME.  I want so much to buy that house, but I can't live in it-it's not conducive to my life now.  I also don't have a boatload of money just sitting there (and it would be a boatload of money-not to purchase the house, but to make it what it should be).   I don't want someone else buying it, changing it, tearing it down.  I couldn't deal with that.  That was MY house.  I have baby pictures of me laying on the shag carpet in the living room.  There's a grape juice stain on the hardwood floor because of me.  Santa came down that chimney and delivered MY presents.

It's only a house, right?  What matters are the memories, right?

Right.

Will I get over this? Sure. Will it be hard. Uh, yup.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Don't bug me...I'm watching TV

Okay, I really never say that....I mean I don't say that often.

I kinda like TV.  I kinda love my DVR. 

Since I feel like I have nothing to blog about lately, I'm gonna lay down for you the shows I watch, the shows I feel like if my DVR craps and doesn't record, I will collapse into the fetal position and cry for endless hours. Too bad there's no way one could watch TV shows on the world wide web.

(yeah, I know there is.  It's just not the same.)

Not sure if this will give you a glimpse into my life and personality-but hey, it's something to blog about.

And in no particular order...here you go:
(I put a star next to the ones my husband watches with me)

Glee
Chopped
The Pioneer Woman
Harry's Law
Modern Family
Up All Night *
Storage Wars *
Grey's Anatomy
Pawn Stars *
Restaurant Impossible
Private Practice
Bar Rescue *
Great Food Truck Race
Deadliest Catch *
Top Chef
SNL *
House
Real Housewives (New York, Orange County & New Jersey)
Ghost Hunters
Tosh.o *
Rocco's Dinner Party
Any Green Bay Packers game *

For some really wrong and obsessive reason, I thought this list was gonna be longer.  I keep telling myself I need to cut some shows.  But I can't.  I can't do that to Barry from Storage Wars.  I can't do that to Captain Sig.  Rocco, you're hot-I would miss you.  Kate Walsh, I think you're a horrible actress, but I'm sucked into your story lines.  Meredith, are you going to stay with Derek?? I must know.  Chumlee, you're such an idiot but you make me chuckle.  And to my favorite TV couple-Cameron and Mitchell-you make my life complete. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

It’s something to say when you don’t know what to say, right?


Right.

So that’s all I have for you for now.

More to come soon.

May involve a calendar!


Thursday, September 15, 2011

Nerd Alert

I'm sitting in my hotel room and I'm lounged out on the bed.  On my lap, I have my laptop.  To my left I have my iPad and my iPhone.  To my right I have the remote to the TV and the remote to the DVD player.

I'm a nerd.



On a way cooler note, I am in a hotel room. 

By myself.

With no kids.

TV to myself.

A glass of wine.

PJ's went on at 5:00 pm.

Pizza delivered.

Twilight showing on the TV.

Heaven?  Yes.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Don't read if you're the jealous type...

Yes, this will make you seriously jealous.  Seriously.  Without a doubt.

Guess where I'm headed tomorrow?  Can you guess? Can you? Can you?  Nope?  Didn't think so.

My friends, I am headed to the Wisconsin Association of Health Underwriters conference for 3 days!!!



(sound of crickets chirping)



Um, yeah.

Exciting, huh?

Every year I go and every year it's the same thing.  Set up the booth, talk to insurance people, get some continuing ed credits and leave. 


I'll be taking my letter opener so I can gouge my eyeballs out if I need to.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Green and Yellow

So yeah, the Green Bay Packers are kind of a big deal.  Especially when you live an hour from Green Bay.

For you non-sports people (usually me), I'll debrief.  The Packer's "kicked off" the regular season tonight against the Saints.  At home.  Pregame was complete with Maroon 5 (side note: had I been able to bail on my kids and head up to GB catch a looky at Adam Levine, I would have), Lady Antebellum and Kid Rock.

I chose to catch up on some DVR'd episodes of Ghost Hunters instead of drooling over Adam.  Yes, I'm still questioning my decision.  Oddly enough, the second I was done with the latest GH (which is a pretty decent show, by the way), Kid Rock was belting out his last note.  At least I think he was.  Maybe he was lip syncing, but I don't think so.  Sorry, where was I?  Oh yeah, Kid Rock.  So, he finishes up and the game is about to start.

And then I got emotional.

Might have even shed a tear.

First, the team takes the field.  C & C Music Factory blows up over the speaker system and the Super Bowl Champs run out.  No tears yet, but I had goosebumps.  I think it's just the excitement of it all, the anticipation of what's gonna happen, the cute butts, Aaron Rodgers (hottie!!), who knows.

And then Jordin Sparks starts on the National Anthem.  Cue the tear.

Seriously, I don't care who you are or what instrument you're playing.  The minute I hear that song, I'm done.  I don't cry every time, but I definitely get an overwhelming sense of pride as I listen.  And if you sing or play it correctly and in tune, all the better.

And then there's the Air Force (I think??) jet fly-over.  How flippin cool is that, right?

So I watched the entire game.  Elliot kept asking me when I was going to turn the channel.  Apparently mommy got into the game a bit and was yelling at the TV.  I have no proof except a little boy that said "mom, don't yell so loud. You scared me".

Oops. 

The Packers won, but thank goodness I have manicured nails.  Else, I would have been biting them near the end.

Phew.


Here's why my driveway looked like this morning:


Everything going up to Lambeau.
Cheesehead Limo.  Where a Cheesehead can be a Cheesehead.
Green and yellow, baby.


Tuesday, September 6, 2011

That's one way to trim a tree branch...

Sometimes, if you're a grown man, it may not be a good idea to use a tire swing that was built (by YOU) for your young children.

Just sayin'.

Oops.




And PS-My mom is doing fine.  No one can really tell me what exactly happened, but all is good. Phew.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Birthday Schmirthday

So yesterday was my birthday.  I'm still 29 (for the past 4 years).

I so wanted it to be a good day.  So very badly I did.

But it wasn't.

There's a "grand scheme" in a bit--so all is not lost.

The morning progressed as any other day--I worked from home, had some coffee, no biggie.  Mr husband did have to take the party bus to the shop AGAIN yesterday morning because on Thursday night we think we might have put a bit of a hole in the ozone layer.  Big issue.  The line that feeds the huge air conditioning unit in the back of the bus decided to just break, snap, whatever.

Anyway, husband expected the bus to be back by around noon-ish or so.  That would allow him to work on the final touches to get it ready for the run it had on Saturday.  Then, we planned to drop the kids off at my dad's house and go out for a nice dinner, just the two of us.  Good plan, right?

Yeah, notsomuch.

The mechanic never called to tell us that the bus was fixed.  At about 4:30 (we had planned to leave for dinner around 5) Jesse drove to the shop to see what was up.

Long story short, there are now 3 more issues with the bus and there's no way it could go out today for it's maiden voyage.

More $$ gone.
And no dinner and over priced piece of cake with a candle in it for me.

Since we had planned to see my mom before dinner, I still wanted to do that--so I packed the girls in the car and went to visit her.

That was awful.

If I didn't know better, I think she might have either just had or was having a mini stroke.  I cried the whole time.  Her head was resting on her shoulder and she wouldn't pick it up, her eyes were darting all over the place.  They assessed her while I was there--her BP was good, but her pulse was high.  They promised me to keep a closer eye on her, but the nurses didn't seem as concerned as I was.  I left crying as my mom kept saying to me "I'm sorry".

Ugh.

On a positive note, I phoned the nursing home around 9:00 last night and they said she looked much better than she had.  So, they're not sure what it was but assured me they would let me know the minute something changed.  I also spoke with the nurse this morning and they said she's "fine" and back to normal--I'm going to see her this morning to do my own little "assessment".  But I do feel better about it now.

(on a side note, could you please add my surro friend Tiffany to your prayer list?  She just recently had a successful transfer and is preggo with one little bean--but she lost her mother this morning.  It's truly so sad and I ask that you please say a little prayer for her)

After my visit with mom, I stopped at DQ and bought myself a birthday cake.  I wanted cake, dammit.  And it was awesome.


Yeah, okay.  So I got one with a big ass fish on it.  After the day I had, it made me laugh and that is why I got it.

There were a couple things that happened during the day that definitely made me smile (and cry good tears).

First of all, I got a little delivery. 

These BEAUTIFUL flowers came from my dear friend, Jeni.  That and a box of chocolates.  Yeah, she rocks hardcore.

I got a "present" via text message from my friend, Cole.  I will leave it at that, but just know that I smiled.

And finally, after all the rigmarole with the bus, I got this card from my husband:
So yeah, my husband (along with the help of Steve Jobs) is getting me an iPad.
I don't have it yet, not sure when I'll get it, but it's still MEGA awesome and I'm so pumped!

Here's my "grand scheme".  It's just another day on the calendar, right?  I have my health, my family, great friends--on the crudiness scale, my day really wasn't as bad as I am making it out to be.  So, I was just an over-emotional birthday day punk.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Good News/Bad News-Surrogacy Related!

Which would you like first?  The good news or bad news?

I've always been a fan of the bad news first...that way you can get the crap out of the way and have something to look forward to.

So, the bad news it is:  the transfer has been pushed back to early November.  Not the end of the world--it's only a couple weeks later than we had anticipated; but, it's still later.  Bummer.  My understanding is it has to do with the egg donor and wanting her to wait a bit longer between cycles (or something to that affect).

BUT....

The good news is that little miss egg donor has proven herself!  As I mentioned in a previous post, her last "donation" produced 25 eggs.  Now, I'm not sure how many of those actually fertilized, but I was just made aware that 2 of those little eggies have turned into a confirmed twin pregnancy!  Yay!

And because I'm a "glass half full" kind of girl, here are some other positives on this little bit of news:
  • Because the transfer is pushed back, the celibacy portion of the agreement will be pushed back. (yay!)
  • I hear NYC is beautiful in November.
  • Just when I will be getting ready to transfer, my dear friend Jeni will be getting ready to deliver her surro twins!
  • I get a delay in poking myself with needles!
As the great REO Speedwagon once said...ROLL WITH THE CHANGES!




Monday, August 29, 2011

6 Years Old.

Feel free to read on, it's okay.  I'm not bitching about anything.


:)


This past weekend, we had a party to celebrate my oldest (Elliot) turning 6.  I'm not going to say "where did that time go", but WHERE DID THAT TIME GO???  6 years.  Man...


Anyway, I wanted to share some photos from the funness (that's not a word, is it?):


Yup, I made these.  A big pain in my ars, but super cute and tasty!
 

For those of you in the Milwaukee area, if you need a bounce house, throw me an e-mail and I'll get you the contact info of where we rented it.  It was very reasonable and a HUGE HIT with the kidlets.

E ball scored a crapload of lootage.  Lots o' Mario stuff.  Happy kid.




So, one would think the highlight of a 6 year old birthday party would be a bounce house, maybe a huge cake, the presents, right?  So wrong.


Most of our guests had left and a few of us were just hanging out when we all together heard a somewhat familiar noise.  All looking at each other at the same time, we all said "ice cream truck" in unison.  And before we knew it, this puppy was rolling down the driveway:


I can honestly say I've never seen an ice cream truck in my neighborhood.  Ever.  I'm not even in a neighborhood, I'm in the boonies.  Jesse was standing in the driveway and flagged it down as it was driving down the street.


Our own personal ice cream truck.


We all enjoyed some pretty delicious frozen treats (courtesy of my husband).  I think the driver met his quota just at my house that day!


One 6 year old down, two to go...