Friday, February 11, 2011

Bad news.

Bad news. Really bad.


My hcg levels have dropped. They actually dropped on Wednesday, but I was too upset to post it. I don’t want to leave you all hanging, so I am letting you know. The pregnancy is over.

On Monday my hcg was 203 (which was good). On Wednesday they had dropped to 163. There was a possibility of a vanishing twin, but I really thought my hcg levels weren’t high enough for that. Today (Friday) my hcg had dropped to 90.

I keep thinking I’m in a dream. A nightmare. This is by far worse than having a failed transfer. I was pregnant. It worked. And now I’m not anymore.

I am a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason” and this is no different. I just wish it wasn’t this way.


I’ve been crying all day. So upset. And this wasn’t even my child. I can’t even imagine what Branden and Tracy must be going through. To see those tests, to hear my hcg levels in the beginning—to KNOW that I was pregnant with their child. And now…

I don’t know what’s next. I would keep trying a million times over if I could for them…but there comes a time where money and embryo’s run out…

Thank you to all who have followed this blog. Thanks for all your support during the first failed transfer and thank you for your prayers on this one. Please, though, I am asking you to keep Branden and Tracy in your prayers now. This is not and was never about me. I’m not doing this for me. I was doing it for them.


9 comments:

  1. Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. xoxo

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  2. I'm so, so, so sad to hear this. Prayers for ALL of you.

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  3. I am so sorry. How sad. I hope you, Branden, and Tracy are okay and get one more chance. I felt this was a go for sure. Will be thinking of and praying for all of you!

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  4. Oh, sweetheart! I am so sorry. I am crying for you and for Branden and Tracy. I went through this same thing a little over a year ago. There was nothing you could have done to make things different. The embryos just weren't viable after all. They hung on a little longer than some, but they couldn't have become babies. You will all be in my prayers. The pain will lessen in time, but for now, it will hurt, and I'm so sorry.

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  5. Aaawww...Jess I am so sorry to hear this. I know how you're feeling right now and it sucks. I really hope you and your IP's get another shot at this. I hope you feel better soon.

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  6. I'm so, so sorry Jess. That's a heartbreak and a half. Thinking of you and your IPs and sending huge (((hugs))) :'(

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  7. Jess it borke my heart to read this...I know it's hard and it's going to take some time to heal. I went through this same thing, failed transfer, then one that worked and ended in miscarriage. Not fun. I'm saying a prayer for your physical & emotional healing as well as for your IP's. **Hugs** I'm here if you need me.

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  8. Oh man, I am soo sorry to hear this. I hope they continue and that it's smooth next time, but I will be praying for healing.

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  9. I'm just catching up and so sorry. I am saying prayers for you and your IPs. I can't imagine and won't pretend I can because I was lucky my first time. I pray that you all can try again. Hugs girl!

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