Bad news. Really bad.
My hcg levels have dropped. They actually dropped on Wednesday, but I was too upset to post it. I don’t want to leave you all hanging, so I am letting you know. The pregnancy is over.
On Monday my hcg was 203 (which was good). On Wednesday they had dropped to 163. There was a possibility of a vanishing twin, but I really thought my hcg levels weren’t high enough for that. Today (Friday) my hcg had dropped to 90.
I keep thinking I’m in a dream. A nightmare. This is by far worse than having a failed transfer. I was pregnant. It worked. And now I’m not anymore.
I am a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason” and this is no different. I just wish it wasn’t this way.
I’ve been crying all day. So upset. And this wasn’t even my child. I can’t even imagine what Branden and Tracy must be going through. To see those tests, to hear my hcg levels in the beginning—to KNOW that I was pregnant with their child. And now…
I don’t know what’s next. I would keep trying a million times over if I could for them…but there comes a time where money and embryo’s run out…
Thank you to all who have followed this blog. Thanks for all your support during the first failed transfer and thank you for your prayers on this one. Please, though, I am asking you to keep Branden and Tracy in your prayers now. This is not and was never about me. I’m not doing this for me. I was doing it for them.