I think I owe you all an update. My apologies for not doing this sooner.
So I had my first beta test (blood test) yesterday at 7:30 am.
The results came at 9:30 am.
My beta is 60.
I was going into yesterday with a really big number in my head, so this number isn’t good to me.
But I’m still pregnant. At least yesterday morning I was.
The people that I’ve told have been uber supportive of this number. It’s a solid number for a singleton (one baby). The real test will be to see if it doubles. My repeat beta is on Friday.
I know I sound really negative about this all and I know I shouldn’t. I should be happy with this number. I just can’t help but think it’s another chemical. There is NOTHING I want more than for it to NOT be one. Lord knows I want this pregnancy to happen more than anything. Anything.
Yesterday was a rough day for me. I cried. I kept playing every scenario in my head. I prayed. I prayed a lot.
This morning I woke up a little better. Here’s why—A)I could very well be pregnant and there’s one little bean making his/her home in my belly. If that is the case, you darn well better know that I am and will continue to make that the best home possible for the next 9 months. B) If it is a chemical, I know that beyond all that I am that I’ve done everything possible that I could to retain a pregnancy.
So, I will move on the next couple days with the mindset that I do have a child setting up shop in my uterus. And I will continue to pray a lot.