Friday, December 30, 2011

I'm weird.

I had a thought.  I'm weird.  Not in a creepy weird a "man, she's just kinda weird" weird way.  Maybe weird isn't the best adjective.  Odd?  Strange?  Goofy?

Whatever.  "Not normal" is probably the right phrase.

I don't consider any of this a bad thing. It's me.
  • My favorite food in all the land is pickled brussel sprouts.  This is not because I'm pregnant.  It's because pickled brussel sprouts are awesome.  All the time.
  • I think the scariest movie that will ever exist (ever) is Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I can’t even type the word Oompa without freaking out.
  • My dream car was always a Fiero. And it still might be.
  • I prefer to write with colored pens (not the "standard" black or blue).
  • Sometimes I think my life could be documented by Lifetime. And people might actually watch it.
  • When I used to show horses during my summers, I lived off of Mountain Dew, brown sugar cinnamon Pop-Tarts and Cheetos.
  • I still have Halloween decorations hanging up in my office.
  • I can’t name all my cousins. (I have lots)
  • I had a bad night in college that involved Vodka and Sunny Delight. I haven’t been able to touch Sunny D since.
  • I people watch ALL the time.
  • I can’t stand the sound of someone clipping their fingernails.
  • I hate having voice mails.
  • I have a hard time saying no to people. Ask me why I work in sales??
  • I hate florescent lighting.
  • I have 5 pairs of glasses that I interchange on a semi-regular basis.
  • I create spreadsheets for everything.
  • I like to dip potato chips in cottage cheese (and along these same lines, I put cottage cheese on my baked potatoes).  Again, not a pregnancy thing, been doing it for years.
  • I can't stand having "unread" e-mails in my inbox.
Not sure if it's a good thing I've laid this out out for the world to see, but hey.  It's all me.  Weird, odd or whatever you want to call it.

And now I have a craving for Pop-Tarts...

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry Christmas

I was thinking about doing some really sappy post about the Holiday's and how much I love or hate them (depending on the minute).

But I'm not gonna.

(I really do love them most minutes)

I just want to wish you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS from my family to yours.  May your days be MERRY and BRIGHT!!

~Jesse, Jesse, Elliot, Emerson, London and T & H's little monkey

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

My cravings are legit (ultrasound results)!

Last night I had an amazingly disturbing dream about my forthcoming ultrasound.  I had to drop trou in front of 8 different doctors; and instead of anything "normal" showing up on the ultrasound screen, all we saw were dancing monkeys.


So I had the ultrasound today.  And boy was I nervous.  Like heart beating fast, nearly shaking kind of nervous.

They put "the wand" where it needed to go.  First, he checked my ovaries (all good), then checked the uterus. 

And it was the most amazing site.

We saw one beautiful little bean!!!

And this little bean has a heartbeat!!  128 bpm to be exact.

Here's the little beauty (you'll hear the heartbeat around the 40 second mark):

When the doctor first measured it, he got 6 weeks, 5 days (which is fine), but then he measured it again after this video and got it a true 7 weeks (which is what I am today).  Either way, all is good.

Happy?  I am.

Relieved?  You bet.

Hungry?  Yes.

And to go back to the title of this post--yup, I've had a craving.  Just one.  But a very specific one.  Maraschino cherries.

Overall, it's been one of the most satisfying mornings thus far on this journey.  The sound of a 7 week old heartbeat is truly the most amazing sound in the world.  I feel an odd sense of calm right now.  In a good way.  A really good way.

My name is Jesse and I am 7 weeks pregnant with an amazing miracle.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

4 days until the ultrasound...

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious about next week's ultrasound.

I don't know why.

I'm pregnant, right?

And I'm feeling more pregnant as the days go on.  No true morning sickness yet, but I do have that yuk feeling throughout the day.  There are certain foods I simply think about and it makes my stomach flip (so VERY unlike me).

I had pizza tonight and nearly hurled when I looked at an additional piece.  VERY VERY unlike me.

I'm anxious because I just want everything to be okay.  I want to see one (more would be fine, but one would be great) little bean in there with a heartbeat.  Then, I'll feel MUCH better.

So we're looking at really less than 4 days.  The ultrasound is on Tuesday morning.  My plan is to take a video of it so Tomas and Honza can have a true look as to what their child(ren) look like (in the "this kind of looks like just a blob of something" sense).

Anxious, yet very excited.

Monday, December 12, 2011

I like the color pink...most days...

Pink is my favorite color.

Except when it's put in front of the word "eye" and wreaking havoc on my house.

Yup, it happened.  First Elliot, then London, now Emerson and I (daddy's immune system is rockstar.  He NEVER gets sick.  Ever.)


Since last weekend (not like 2 days ago, like over 9 days ago) my house has been filled with lots of snot, whining, crying, and misery. 

And it just wasn't me doing that all!

Elliot is finally back to school today--we had to call him in every day last week!  Poor kid.  Hope he remembered how to write his name.

London seems a bit better.  Her eyes were only glued shut 2 days last week. 

Emerson is worse.  If I didn't know better, I'd say she was the spawn of Satan.  I know that's awful of me to say, but the whites of her eyes....aren't.  They're nearly red.  Poor thing.  She acts okay-no other symptoms--just red, gobby eyes.  I'm doing lots o'research on what to do.  It's 50/50 on whether antibiotics will help Emmy or not.  And Lord knows there's no way I could ever get an eye drop in her eye.  So, I will just let it run it's course for a couple more days and see what happens. 

Mommy is eh.  Sore throat, runny nose and cough for about a week.  I couldn't open my one eye this morning.  So sexy.  I'm stuck because of being pregnant (gosh, I love saying that).  Pregnant ladies are limited in what they can take-medicine wise.  So I haven't taken anything.  Gonna down some extra Vitamin C tonight and pray for a miracle.  Might have been a good idea to take stock in the Kleenex Corp. a couple weeks ago.  Lord knows I probably just sent their CEO to the Caribbean.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Czech Boys

I'd like to take you back to the day I was "approved" with Circle Surrogacy.  The day I received an e-mail from Circle with the subject line "A Profile to View!"

I remember exactly where I was. 

I remember seeing the e-mail and my heart starting to beat faster.

I remember opening the first photo that was attached and I remember falling in love.  (in a "I want to be their surrogate" kind of way)

Seriously, how could you not like these guys?  I mean, aren't they the cutest ever?

It makes me sad they're so far away.  You see, "my guys" (that's what I refer to them as with everyone I talk to) live in Prague.  Yes, the Czech Republic. 

They're the type of guys that I would invite over for a beer (*ahem* if I weren't pregnant) and want to hang out with for hours.  I'd want to go to museums with them and hit up a movie.  They've treated me and my family with nothing but kindness and respect.  They're pretty awesome. 

And they're gonna be daddies!

Ah...what joy that brings to my heart.

Tomas and Honza--you guys are amazing and I am so lucky that you "picked" me!  Thank you for everything on this journey so far--for your friendship, your organization (T) and your care for my well being.  I am so honored and proud to be your surrogate and will do everything I can to care and nurture the little bean(s) in my belly!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Final Beta

So I had my last beta today.

You'd think since it was a good strong number last week Friday that I would have had a decent weekend with some sighs of relief.


Sure, I felt good about the number, but there is always this "what if".  And, the last time I had a chemical pregnancy my 2nd beta was fine, it was the 3rd beta where we saw the numbers drop.

So yeah, I've been antsy since Friday.

Blood was drawn bright and early this morning.  Had a client meeting most of the morning and I so wanted to keep checking my phone during the meeting, but I figured that would look kind of crappy in front of a new client.  I stayed strong and didn't look like an ass. 

The minute I walked out of my meeting the phone rang and I saw it was a Connecticut number.

Oh crap.  Do I answer it?  Do I let it go to voicemail?  Do I want to know?


I answered it and my angel nurse Sharron said once again "everything is great".

Beta today is 1,355.

NOW I will put my mind at ease.....

....until the ultrasound.  (December 20)

Holy crap! I'm legitimately preggo!


Oh, and PS--I want to give out a congrats to Mike and Tony.  They're beautiful baby girl was born just a couple days ago via a surrogate.  I can't comment on your blog, guys, but please know that I am so happy for you!! She is perfect and I want to sqeeze her cheeks!!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Beta Number 2

Let me start by saying the last 3 days have been, uh, crazy.

I've been anxious about the beta today.  Really anxious.

I did whatever possible to keep my mind off of it.  But it was hard.

So I just continued peeing on my little sticks and that made me feel better...cause my lines were getting DARKER!  (a good sign, right??)

And I just got the call that I had been both waiting for and dreading.  CFA.  With my 2nd beta.

Nurse Sharron started off the conversation a little subdued and my heart sank.  Then the words "everything is wonderful" came out of her mouth and my heart skipped a beat. 

My beta is 232.


THIS IS AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME news.  I can't tell you how excited I am.  Tomas and Honza (those are "my guys"....your first looky at their real names!!) are going to be fathers!!  That, my friends, makes me happy beyond words.