Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Beta Update

I think I owe you all an update.  My apologies for not doing this sooner.

So I had my first beta test (blood test) yesterday at 7:30 am.

The results came at 9:30 am.

My beta is 60.

I was going into yesterday with a really big number in my head, so this number isn’t good to me.

But I’m still pregnant. At least yesterday morning I was.

The people that I’ve told have been uber supportive of this number. It’s a solid number for a singleton (one baby). The real test will be to see if it doubles. My repeat beta is on Friday.

I know I sound really negative about this all and I know I shouldn’t. I should be happy with this number. I just can’t help but think it’s another chemical. There is NOTHING I want more than for it to NOT be one. Lord knows I want this pregnancy to happen more than anything. Anything.

Yesterday was a rough day for me. I cried. I kept playing every scenario in my head. I prayed. I prayed a lot.


This morning I woke up a little better. Here’s why—A)I could very well be pregnant and there’s one little bean making his/her home in my belly. If that is the case, you darn well better know that I am and will continue to make that the best home possible for the next 9 months. B) If it is a chemical, I know that beyond all that I am that I’ve done everything possible that I could to retain a pregnancy.

So, I will move on the next couple days with the mindset that I do have a child setting up shop in my uterus. And I will continue to pray a lot.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

An update--you probably want to check this out.



That's right, baby! 

Pardon me while I go run around my living room for a moment....


Okay, I'm back.  No, I didn't run.  I have to take it easy.  So I just walked really fast waiving my arms around.  Picture that.

I am elated!

Over the moon! 

So excited! 

So happy!

I actually got a positive test yesterday (5dp5dt).  Well, I actually got 4 positive tests yesterday.  But, the digital tests are a little more "concrete" in my mind.

Our first beta (blood test) isn't until Tuesday, so I'm still going to be a little cautious, especially since I've gotten one of these before and it was a chemical pregnancy.  But I'm going to celebrate for a little bit right now because of that one little word that popped up on the hpt today.

Congrats to my IF's, T & H.  They deserve this and I can't be more happier for them!

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

3dp5dt

What that little "lingo" post title means is that I am currently 3 days past (3dp) a 5 day transfer (5dt).

And I've got nuthin'.

Well, I did take a test today and it was bfn (big fat negative), which is totally expected. It's still extremely early to get a positive test.  In fact, even day 4-5 might be too early as well.  But I'll keep trying!!

I have been a little crampy here and there--could I attribute that to implantation?  Sure.  Maybe the progesterone and/or estrogen I'm on?  Sure.  So, I'm not sure how meaningful the cramps are.

I'm pretty tired today, too.  Again, not sure if that's because of the meds, because I didn't sleep well (which I did, though) or because I truly am starting to experience pregnancy symptoms.

Oh, and I had a short fuse today once.  Maybe twice.
I've got a busy few days ahead of me to celebrate Thanksgiving, but I will try to take it easy and will for sure be squeezing in a test here and there.

Please continue to pray and send us lots of "sticky" vibes!!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!  I am so very thankful for so many things, including you.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

NYC/CT...The City and The Transfer

I'm going to go out of order a bit-bear with me.

Today (Sunday) we had our transfer.  It was at 7:45 this morning, so getting up and ready is kind of a blur--but we made it and Dr. Doyle did his thing.  It went great and we saw the two beautiful little embies take their place!

And now we wait.

And I'm not really a patient person.

It's nearly lunch time and Jesse and I have been curled up in bed just hanging out "bed-resting".  It's quite relaxing--and I'm thinking a nap is in order in a little bit.

Ahhhhh....

So yes, I'm a POAS (pee on a stick) addict and I will be doing that.  And ya'll will know when I do, I promise. 

PLEASE pray for me, T and H that these little embies (or one little embie) stick!!  I want nothing more than to make them amazing parents. 



So let's back up now to Friday--it was a truly amazing day.  We met up with T & H at noon in Grand Central Station and head out to the big city right away.  Knowing that they had to catch a plane that night to go home, we knew we had to make the best of the couple ours we had with them.

We first hit up the Empire State building:



I think T & H have some pictures of me with at least one of them--I don't have any.  Argh.

After Empire State, we braved the Subway and headed to Chinatown for some lunch.  Yum-O.

Then, we Subway'd it to Central Park and that's where we parted ways.  Was I sad?  Yes, very much so.  I like them.  A lot.   Remember that "new boyfriend butterflies" post I did a few days ago?  Yeah, it's still like that--leaving that person or persons you've grown to become so fond of and enjoy so much.  It's hard.

After we said our goodbye's, Jesse and I walked 1900 miles to meet up with my cousin (Joe) and his girlfriend (Caryn) for dinner.  I'm not kidding.  1900 miles.

Okay, it was about 40 blocks, but still....

Dinner was great--my family is awesome--we had a great time!

Then, we hit up Dylan's Candy Bar and might have purchased a leetle bit of candy.

Or a lot a bit.

We knew we HAD to check out Time Square at night, so that was our last stop:
Pardon my weird angle there--it was one of those "screw asking anyone to take our pic for us, I can do it myself" type situations...

Yesterday (Saturday), Jesse and I went back to the city to do some more exploring.  And we pulled out our tourist card and did the bus tour.  It was quite informative, very cold on the upper deck, but still pretty neat. 

We did brave Chinatown again.  But not the tourist Chinatown.  The "real" Chinatown.  Like, fish markets everywhere and ducks hanging in restaurant windows.  I'm a big fan of  steamed dumplings, so I went into a very non-English speaking restaurant and did my best to point to what I wanted.  And those dumplings were divine!!  And only $1.75. 

We ended our evening near Rockefeller Center and HAD to hit up Nintendo World.  Santa might have did some shopping there for the kidlets.

And now we're back to the hotel bed.  Just hanging out.  Not moving.  And praying these little embies take up habitation.
I leave you with one more photo.  One that couldn't be more appropriate.  Sure, it's hanging on the side of Macy's department store, but I like to think it was hanging there just for this journey:
 

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Wanna "meet" my IF's??

I will hook you all up with the details of yesterday (a truly awesome day), but I wanted to first do a little introduction for you.

Let me step back one second--since the beginning of this journey, I've wanted to keep some privacy available for my IF's.  They've always been supportive of the blog, but I never really came out and asked to what extent I can include info about them.  I'm the blogger, but this journey is also about them.  You know them as T & H and I think I will leave their names still private, at least for now (baby steps) but yesterday, they gave me the permission that I can use their photo's on my blog!!

Seriously, this was awesome news to me--because I want to share them.  They are the most amazing couple and when I think about them, my heart swells.  Oh, and they're super cute too.

Without further adieu, here is your first look at my very cool, very sweet and oh so awesome Intended Fathers:


Yes, they are that cute in person too. 

Friday, November 18, 2011

Drive By Update

Quick update to all my blog followers...

We made it to NYC and settled into our hotel in CT.  CFA is pretty sure the transfer will be on Sunday (which is great news!!)--so hubby and I are going to meet up with T & H today for a bit before they have to catch their flight back tonight.  Not sure if we'll find anything to do in NYC, but I'm sure we'll be fine.

Har har har

I'm SO SO SO excited to see them!!

After the catch their flight, we have dinner plans with my awesome cousin (Joe) and his girlfriend, which I'm also very much looking forward to.

Will update again later! (with lots of pics, I'm sure)

XO

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Ted Allen thinks I'm brilliant.

No really, he does:


Brialliant and a word nerd.  I love him.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Ready....Set...Here We Go!!!

Travel arrangements have been made--we are headed out on Thursday afternoon!!  Child care is taken care of, flights have been booked, rental car is ready, hotel is good to go--this is it!!!

The egg retrieval was this morning--and little miss egg donor is a ROCKSTAR--26 little eggies!!  I'm excited to see how many make it to get fertilized and then how many make it after that.  

Ack!!

I'm still running under the assumption that we'll make it to a 5-day transfer, so we've got plans to spend Friday with the guys in the big city!  Yay!!!

I'm sure you're all dying to know how my PIO injections are going, right?  Well, they're great!! (minus one small emergency call to Jeni on what needles I needed to use--which I figured out).  I took one shot last night and had to switch to a morning shot this morning because I have to take a new med tonight and, let's just say...it's not an injection...nor do I take it orally.

'nuf said.

So as of tonight, I will be on the following as far as my daily meds:

PIO Injection
Estrace
Baby Aspirin
Prometruim
Predisone
Doxycycline
Vitamin

Yikes!

But totally worth it!!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Hey Lupron---buh bye!!

You heard right, folks.  Tonight I will take my last Lupron shot.  Tomorrow, I start the "big guy"--Progesterone In Oil.

You wanna know why?  Do ya?  Do ya?

Because the egg retrieval is on Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy bologna! 

That means that Jesse and I will head out on Thursday (travel times yet to be determined) with the transfer happening on either Friday or Sunday (likely Sunday).

And wanna know what else is cool?   I'll get to see my guys!!!!!

Yay!!!!

I about crapped my pants when I saw the e-mail from CFA today letting me know about the retrieval.  I suppose I was expecting something at some point, but not today.  Totally took me off guard--but in a good way.  A great way!

Thinking about a little "goodbye" ceremony for Mr Lupron tonight...


Friday, November 11, 2011

"New Boyfriend" Butterflies

No, I don't have a new boyfriend.  My husband is working out just fine for me.

Most days.

But that feeling--that feeling of meeting a new guy (or girl) for the first time and having those fun, insanely odd feelings in the pit of your stomach--that's what I felt yesterday when I got an e-mail from "T" that they were in the US.

The feeling was immediate.  And so cool.

I'm always excited to hear from them.  But to hear that they're here--here to fertilize the eggs that will become embryo's that will be transferred into me.  Well, it makes me happy, excited, nervous--the same feeling I used to get in high school when I met a boy for the first time.  Kind of an odd comparison, but that's the best way I can describe it.

Sadly, depending on when our transfer actually happens, I may not even get to see my guys, though.  Do I want them there for the transfer?  Absolutely.  But, the fact that they live 4500 miles away and have professional schedules to adhere to might not allow that. 

Because of that, I need you all to start willing our ED to hurry up and produce some fantastic eggies!! Like Tuesday or Wednesday would be really good.  Then, I'll still get to see T & H for a little bit when we get to NYC.

Holy crap.  There are those dang butterflies again!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Did someone say "next week"??

First of all, MASSIVELY HUGE congrats need to be given to my "ling-lost" BFF, Jeni.  She gave birth to her surro twins this past weekend!!  And honestly, when I think about these babies coming into the world, I cry.  I am so overjoyed for Jeni and her IF's (Farid and George).  Jeni has been such a support for me and such an awesome friend-there's no words to tell her how excited I am for her!  Jeni, you are a rockstar.  The BOMB DIGGITY.  I can't tell you how happy I am that we "met" and how happy I am for you and this journey you were on. 

Here is the birth story of Jeni's surro twins.

Again, congrats girl!!

As for me--well, I'm ready for this transfer to happen!!  My guys will be flying to the States on Friday!! Like, as in THIS Friday!!  AACK!  They need to be ready to make their "contribution", whenever that may be.

And here's where I start biting my acrylic nails.
The egg retrieval will be next week!

Deep breath.

I will have to travel for 5 days.  And I only get a 4-day notice on my travel dates.

More deep breaths.

I am a planner.  A huge planner.  I put everything on my calendar. Everything.  Sometimes, I even schedule grocery shopping.

For me to not know these travel dates--it's making me a little insane. Yes, I knew this going into it and I'm doing as much as a I can to keep myself busy and as organized as possible so that when I get "the call", I will be ready to go. But still.  It's hard.  Remember how psycho I got when I had the med-screening and had to leave for like 24 hours? Yeah, this is a 5 day trip.

And there's a possibility that 5 days MAY go into Thanksgiving.

Which, on one hand, would suck.  But on the other hand, I would be in NYC on Thanksgiving day and that might rock just a bit.

Anyway, I would like to say again--the egg retrieval will be NEXT WEEK.

Did you hear me??? NEXT WEEK!!!
AAAACKKK!!!!!!!!
Deep breaths.

I have been matched with the most awesome guys since April 19th. We've waiting 7 months.  And I now can say the words "NEXT WEEK". 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

This post brought to you by Fiat.

Before I get into the nitty gritty of my awesome weekend, I do have to give a HUGE shout out to my "ling lost" and "surro sister", Jeni.  Her water broke last night and she's in labor right now with the twins!!  GOOD LUCK to you, Jeni!!  SO EXCITED for you and the guys!

This weekend is the weekend of my reschedule with Cole (originally had it booked for the weekend of Nov 18th, but I've got something else going that weekend--A TRANSFER, baby!!).  Cole and I have known each other for a good 10 years and try to get together at least once a year (she lives in KY).  This year, we decided to ditch the hubbies and kids and met up in Indianapolis--just us.

I rented a car and channeled my inner J Lo:
Seriously.  That is not a matchbox car you're looking at.  I've been driving that puppy all weekend.  Slightly scary, not meant to be a family car at all, but still kinda fun in a "crap I hope it doesn't get too windy" kind of way.

Cole and I are really picky when it comes to alcoholic beverages:
Nothing better than a Cosmo in a box.

We had a wonderful time!   Much needed girl time--lots of shopping, chatting, eating.  And thank you to the Candlewood Suites--a DVD player in the room.  Gave us a chance to watch all 3 Twilight movies together!

Edward. 

It was an awesome weekend and I'm so sad it's coming to an end.

Love you, Cole!!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Ye Ole Lining of Me Uterus

I had another monitoring appointment today--all is looking just DANDY!!

My lining was 10mm with a triple stripe!

Now, I've heard this go both ways.  Some may consider that really good (which my RE does) and some may consider that too "cushy" at this point.

I'm going with Dr. Doyle on this one--they want anything over 7mm at this point in the process, so I'd say I'm doing well.

They said it will go up a little more between now and transfer, but nothing to be concerned about.  Looks like I will be good and ready to accept those beautiful little embies!!

Ack! I cannot believe I can say we're like 2 weeks away!  Okay, maybe just a smidge more than that, but AACK!! 

The guys are actually flying out on the 11th!  That's NEXT WEEK!!  They have to do some more blood work and then give up their "donation" as soon as those eggs are retrieved.  Then, hubster and I will fly out on day 2--so we'll be ready for a 3 day transfer, but will cross our fingers for a 5.

(and for those of you that don't quite understand that, I'll explain in a later post)

Anyway, we (me and my uterus) are ready!! BRING IT!

Sorry for the overuse of exclamation points in this post. 

!!!!!