Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Logistics

Many people have asked me...."so how is this all gonna work?" (meaning delivery/hospital/after the hospital)

And my answer is...."I don't know".

I know how I WANT it to work, but when it comes down to giving birth, nothing ever happens how you think it will.  And because this situation is a bit more "special", I really think it's going to be one of those things that we'll be winging on the day of delivery.

But if you're curious as to my ultimate plan (which the guys appear to be on board with), here goes...

The BIGGEST thing for me is to have them there at the birth.  That's huge for me.  I want them to experience getting handed their child as soon as it's born.  I want them to see the first breath, hear the first cry.  I want that child to look up at his new family.

My due date is August 7th. 

I believe the plan is for the guys to fly out August 1st (or somewhere close to that date).  Assuming I'm on track with the other deliveries I've had, that should be good (I was late with all of own kids, had to be induced each time).  Once they get settled in Wisconsin before the birth, I will be MUCH more at ease.  But until they get here (yes, I know we've got like 4 more months, but a girl can freak out a little bit, right?) I'll be a wreck.

The last thing I want is to go into labor with them not in the area.  It's a good 10 hour flight.  Not something they can really do at the last minute.  So, I will need EVERYONE'S prayers, thoughts and whatever it is that you can do to make sure I don't go into labor until after August 1st, okay??

I plan to give birth vaginally (let's not even talk cesarean, okay??).  The plan is for my husband to be there (so I can yell at him, even though it's not even his kid) and for the guys to be there as well.  Yeah, we're all okay with what they're going to see (i.e lady parts). It is what it is.  Note to self, groom up.

Once the baby is born, I believe they'll take him and the guys into a different room and do all the "new baby" stuff (weight, measurements, temps, bath, etc...).  I really don't need to be there for that, and I want Tomas and Honza to not feel weird with me in the room.  They need that time with their son.  Alone.  Bonding.

I'll recover in the "birth room" for a bit, eat a cheeseburger and get moved to a different recovery room (of course I'm hoping to get a few chances to hang with the guys and the baby for a bit--but I'm going to leave that up to them.  This is their time, not mine.)
Tomas and Honza plan on staying at the hospital in their own room, with the baby.  I'll have my own room as well.  I will be pumping for the baby, so that will keep me busy.  Chances are I'll get released from the hospital probably within 24 hours.  The baby will be released within about 2 days (assuming all is good) and they'll be staying in the area, close to both me and the hospital.

As far as how often I'll see them/the baby afterwards is completely their decision.  Like I mentioned, I'll be pumping breast milk, so they'll have to get that from me-whether it's me dropping it off or them picking it up.  They need their space, their time with their new son and I won't do anything to infringe on that.  But I will need to get my baby cheek squeeze in at least a little bit. :)

Now, many people have also asked me "What happens if you want to keep the baby?".

Okay, here's the deal with that.  I love kids a lot, I do.  But I can say 100%, without a doubt that I will not want to keep this child.  Why?  It's simple--because it's not mine.  This child was created with the love and work of Tomas and Honza.  This is their child. I'm simply a vehicle to bring this child into the world.   Giving them the gift of helping them create a family means so much to me, more so than wanting another child of my own.  Will that feeling change once I have the baby?  No. 
So, that's kind of the plan, knowing full well the plan is ultimately up to God. 

Let's hope God has a good plan of his own for all of us. :)


  1. Great day, that's my oldest son's birthday!!! :) :) I am praying your plan goes exactly as planned!!

  2. That's my birthday too and one of my daughters is born on the 6th! I am so excited for you and your IFs.

  3. I love the plan and hope it works out as close as possible to your and the guys' hopes. I will be saying many a prayer for the timing and events to work out perfectly. You are an amazing woman. I am proud to call you and your caring heart, my friend.

  4. I'm right there freaking out with you. My IP's are in Spain. There is absolutely NO way they would make it if I went into labor before they are here. I desperately want them to have those moments too - the first cry, being handed the newborn, changing the very first diaper - all of it! It's as much selfish as it is experience. Yes, I want them to have the emotions that happen when you see your own child born, but I also want to see it on their faces! That is how I picture the "end" of this wonderful journey - is witnessing that moment and watching them see their son being born. I was always post due with mine too but I won't be this time. My instincts are still saying early, but the OB also says we won't be passing 39 weeks because of size. I hope we both get our wish and the guys make it in time!

  5. This is EXACTLY how I feel. I almost want to just copy and paste it to my blog.

    My IP's are also in Spain, and this is also my biggest fear!! I had my son in less than 8 hours, and two of them were pushing. I might ask my IP's to come 2 weeks before my due date just to be safe.

  6. Our hospital asked us if we wanted to be on a different floor than Chloe. I guess some people do but we said hell no and luckily we got a room right next to her. After Derek and I met and fed the babies we asked the staff to fling open the sliding door between us and Chloe. Not everyone is the same but we couldn't wait for the twins to meet her.

  7. This is all just so amazing and wonderful. You are amazing and wonderful!