Sunday, August 19, 2012

Jesse The Surrogate - Q & A - After The Journey

I'm still getting many questions regarding my journey and surrogacy in general, which I love to answer--so I've decided to do an "after the journey" edition of a Q & A.  I'm assuming if one person is asking, another might be thinking the same thing.  And please, if you have additional questions, post them in the comments section or throw me an e-mail!  I'm happy to answer anything!

Did you have a hard time "giving up" the baby?
Uh, no.  Not at all.  Plain and simple, it was not my baby to "give up".  Sure, I bonded with the little guy while I carried him in my belly for 9 months, but I bonded on a much different level than with my own children.  I knew exactly what I was doing and what the end result was going to be and never once did I think he was mine.  So, I don’t feel like I “gave up” the baby. I feel like I simply grew him and handed over this little miracle to his parents.

How do you feel when you see the baby now?
Seeing him makes me feel great!  I carried him for 9 months!  How can that not be great?!  I helped bring him into the arms of his daddies--truly, the most amazing feeling ever.  When I see him, I’m not sad or upset or anything of the sort.  I love to see him and seeing how loved he is really makes me quite happy.

Do the guys know who the biological father is?
Yes.  However, they've made a decision to not tell anyone, which I respect tremendously.

Is Jáchym a US Citizen?
Yes, because he was born in the US; he will forever have a US birth certificate.  I believe they can and will apply for dual citizenship for him.

When the family goes home, will you stay in contact with them?
Of course!! I consider the boys a part of my family and hope to get very frequent updates on a very regular basis (hint hint to the guys). My husband and I actually plan on visiting them in Prague next year!

How was your employer with this whole thing?
Actually, they were great.  My boss (who I’ve known and worked with for about 13 years) is not only a great boss, but a good friend. I fully disclosed everything regarding this process and though he was always most concerned about my health, he was supportive of my decision.  He was fortunate enough to meet the guys and that certainly was a pretty cool thing.  I am a huge supporter of my company and while I was cycling and ultimately  pregnant, I did my best to make sure I was still on my game when it came to the job I was supposed to be doing. 

Are you back to work already?
Indeed I am! I had Jáchym on a Tuesday and I was back working the following Monday.  I had planned on actually going back earlier (working from home) but thought a few days off wouldn't be a bad thing.  Could I have taken some leave time?  Sure.  But I really didn’t feel I needed to take an extended leave—both physically and emotionally I was okay to jump back into it.

How are your kids dealing with this?
My kids are handling everything wonderfully.  They (as far as I can tell) understand why I did what I did and the process and get why we don’t have a baby at home—and they’re okay with it.  When they see Jáchym, they have nothing but love for him—maybe a little too much—they are all over him!  They’ve also developed a bond with Tomas and Honza, which I think is so cool.

Are you supplying milk to the baby?
Yes, I am.  I did not nurse Jáchym, but have been supplying EBM (expressed breast milk) for him since he was born.  I am a pretty big advocate for breastfeeding and know the good that comes out of it, so I’m very happy to do this for him.  Sure, having to pump every three hours does get a little hard, but it’s been bearable.  When the boys go back to Prague, I won’t be able to supply them with the milk anymore (too hard to ship it internationally), but I’ve made the decision to continue to pump and will donate to the National Milk Bank.

Are you going to be a surrogate again?
Ah…the most popular question to date!  Let me just say this…if Tomas and Honza asked me to do this again for them, I would probably say yes even before they finished asking the question.  Would I carry for someone else?  I haven't really thought about.  I mean, I have thought about but I don't know how I feel about it.  I'm pretty sure I'm not done with the surrogacy chapter in my life, so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens.  For now, I'm just going to work on me--losing weight, getting healthy--so if/when the time comes for me to do another journey for T & H or someone new, I'm super ready for it!


  1. This was a great post!! LOVE it.. The guys are so lucky to have you!!

  2. I always love your question and answer posts. I am sure I have asked my fair share during and after your journey.
    What I find most amazing is your large support system in family, friends and even work. It is great to know that everyone is with you on something this amazing and important.

  3. Great questions, great answers!

    I especially love the last one. :)